When you are getting to know a new person do you have the habit of reflecting their vibe to them? Don’t worry. Most of us do this!
It’s said that in some ways we’re wired to mirror each other as a way of bonding. (Are you thinking of the times this has happened?) Reflecting on someone’s body language can help us feel what they’re feeling, understand them better, and make them feel comfortable.
The advantage of mirroring is that it helps us feel empathy and connect, and it’s one of the reasons why being around someone anxious and upset can make us feel anxious and upset too. (A simple example is when you see your best friend cry do you also tear up watching him/her doing it? )
It’s a sneaky way of building trust. We’re all gaining experience being vulnerable, failing in front of each other, and working through problems as a team. So here are a few points to note while creating new bonds.
The power of discernment, means that discernment isn’t a judgment of the other person, it’s simply the acknowledgment that other people affect us, and we get one life– we deserve to spend it feeling how we want to feel.
The second point being uninhibited is an extraordinary gift.
Even if your uninhibited state looks completely different than the other person (as it surely will!), dropping some of your inhibitions with a new person gives them the chance to both see your authentic self more clearly, and invariably leads them to drop their own to show you theirs.
This is where you both get to find out– do you match? Does it work? Is spending time with one another going to be a fun and pleasant experience?
Until we let people see us, for who we are and who we stand for we have no idea if we will vibe with them, if they’ll like us, or if their energy will feel good to be around. Plus, letting people see us makes others more likely to let us see them back for the “real” person they are.
Some people are inhibited, untrusting, and anxious at first when they meet someone new. So when you mirror someone new, try to stay warm and open, but also slow down just a touch. There are times when it will work, and there are times it won’t, and this may even be more painful than one can imagine as letting someone see the real you and then they decide they don’t vibe with you or vice versa. But many people’s experiences convey that it’s a lot more painful to move through the world feeling like nobody knows or sees the real you at all.
It is essential to understand you’re not for everyone. And the most exciting part is that this planet has more than 8 billion people on it. Connections can happen anywhere at any time!
There will always be some people who bring out the best in you, and delight in how we bring out the best in them, and it will feel like coming home. And then there will be a whole lot of people who feel kind of “meh.” Nice, good, fine, no problem. Nothing special, but we can make it work.
Learn to know how you would personally want to spend your life. Understanding this important aspect of human connections can ease your mind, giving you a more insightful way to approach new beginnings with new people. After all, they say, strangers are friends we simply haven’t met yet.